!~APRIL~!
April is National Donate Life Month! Are you an organ donor, do you want to be one? Do you know what each organ donor can improve, or even save as many as 50 lives? One person deciding to become a donor can touch THAT many lives! This Month Homewatch Caregivers is working with http://organdonor.gov/ to educated people on the selfless gift that being a donor is. Please, I encourage everyone to look over the Organ donor site and learn about all the ways you could help someone. Even sign up to be a donor.
Showing posts with label homewatch caregivers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homewatch caregivers. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Cardiac Caregiving Tips
Cardiac Caregiving Tips from Homewatch CareGivers
To Help Women, Families Providing Elder Care
Strategies to Take Care of your Heart
—Stress and age are the leading causes of high blood pressure. As experts working with older adults and senior citizens, Homewatch CareGivers offers cardiac caregiving tips to help women and families who provide elder care so they can reduce a loved one’s risks for high blood pressure.
High blood pressure, or hypertension, can strike a person in any age group, but older adults—those above the age of 60—are at a higher risk for stroke and related serious disability. Plus, coronary heart disease and stroke share many of the same risk factors such as high LDL (“bad”) cholesterol levels, low HDL (“good”) cholesterol levels, high blood pressure, smoking, diabetes, physical inactivity, and being overweight or obese, according to the American Stroke Association, a division of the American Heart Association (http://www.strokeassociation.org).
Homewatch CareGivers (www.homewatchcaregivers.com) presents three risks and reductions to take in caregiving for seniors:
1. Risk: Loss of senses leads to over-consumption
Older adults lose sensory functions slowly, starting with the sense of smell and taste. Family caregivers need to watch for a change in diet or an increase in salt and sugar intake. The New England Journal of Medicine reports that over-consumption of salt leads to high blood pressure; over-consumption of sugar leads to weight gain and possible weight-related diabetes.
Reduction:
· Overhaul eating habits—eliminate high salt and sugar pre-packaged foods, read labels for sodium levels, eat larger portions of natural foods and fruit for natural sugar intake and avoid convenience foods.
· Adopt 3 new dietary strategies--substitute nonhydrogenated unsaturated fats for saturated and trans-fats; increase omega-3 fatty acids from fish, fish oil supplements, or plants; and consume a diet high in fruits, vegetables, nuts, and whole grains. Seniors aged 70 to 90 who followed a Mediterranean-style diet and had greater physical activity had 65% to 73% lower rate of mortality from coronary related diseases (http://jama.ama-assn.org).
2. Risk: Sedentary lifestyle increases risk of heart disease, depression
Being inactive, obese or both can increase a senior’s risk of high blood pressure, high blood cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease, depression and stroke.
--more—
Reduction:
· Walk 10 minutes daily—Federal Physical Activities Guidelines call for 2.5 hours of moderate-intensity physical activity each week. Seniors who are overweight or struggle physically because of heart disease, hypertension or other age-related diseases should start slowly, building from walking inside the home, to outside for several minutes, building up to 5 minutes and then up to 10 minutes per day to start.
· Add 1 minute per week—consistency with increased physical activity by adding 1 minute a week will help a senior reach the 20 minutes of recommended daily activity, which can lead to lowered blood pressure.
3. Risk: Fear of loss of independence leads to stress
As people reach retirement age and beyond, they go through an intense emotional cycle of change as they face new pressures--finances, changing family roles, loss of a loved one and struggles to age in-home. Stress leads to anxiety and depression in seniors.
Reduction:
· Create solutions for independence and socialization—family members can plan a social calendar to make sure their senior engages with friends and their community.
· Find volunteer opportunities—from schools to churches to libraries, seniors are a valuable volunteer resource for those community resources that face budget and funding issues during tough economic times.
· Get out of the house—self-isolation leads to depression; withdrawal form the world can lead to unhealthy lifestyle habits, like self-medication or alcohol dependency. Getting out is linked to overall wellbeing.
· Make a plan for in-home care in advance—family caregivers and the seniors they care for need to prepare a clear plan for the future to ensure the senior’s desire for independence. Respect the senior’s rights and feelings and get advice and support from an in-home care provider like Homewatch CareGivers to get an in-home assessment to help a senior age in-home and get the elder care they need.
To Help Women, Families Providing Elder Care
Strategies to Take Care of your Heart
—Stress and age are the leading causes of high blood pressure. As experts working with older adults and senior citizens, Homewatch CareGivers offers cardiac caregiving tips to help women and families who provide elder care so they can reduce a loved one’s risks for high blood pressure.
High blood pressure, or hypertension, can strike a person in any age group, but older adults—those above the age of 60—are at a higher risk for stroke and related serious disability. Plus, coronary heart disease and stroke share many of the same risk factors such as high LDL (“bad”) cholesterol levels, low HDL (“good”) cholesterol levels, high blood pressure, smoking, diabetes, physical inactivity, and being overweight or obese, according to the American Stroke Association, a division of the American Heart Association (http://www.strokeassociation.org).
Homewatch CareGivers (www.homewatchcaregivers.com) presents three risks and reductions to take in caregiving for seniors:
1. Risk: Loss of senses leads to over-consumption
Older adults lose sensory functions slowly, starting with the sense of smell and taste. Family caregivers need to watch for a change in diet or an increase in salt and sugar intake. The New England Journal of Medicine reports that over-consumption of salt leads to high blood pressure; over-consumption of sugar leads to weight gain and possible weight-related diabetes.
Reduction:
· Overhaul eating habits—eliminate high salt and sugar pre-packaged foods, read labels for sodium levels, eat larger portions of natural foods and fruit for natural sugar intake and avoid convenience foods.
· Adopt 3 new dietary strategies--substitute nonhydrogenated unsaturated fats for saturated and trans-fats; increase omega-3 fatty acids from fish, fish oil supplements, or plants; and consume a diet high in fruits, vegetables, nuts, and whole grains. Seniors aged 70 to 90 who followed a Mediterranean-style diet and had greater physical activity had 65% to 73% lower rate of mortality from coronary related diseases (http://jama.ama-assn.org).
2. Risk: Sedentary lifestyle increases risk of heart disease, depression
Being inactive, obese or both can increase a senior’s risk of high blood pressure, high blood cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease, depression and stroke.
--more—
Reduction:
· Walk 10 minutes daily—Federal Physical Activities Guidelines call for 2.5 hours of moderate-intensity physical activity each week. Seniors who are overweight or struggle physically because of heart disease, hypertension or other age-related diseases should start slowly, building from walking inside the home, to outside for several minutes, building up to 5 minutes and then up to 10 minutes per day to start.
· Add 1 minute per week—consistency with increased physical activity by adding 1 minute a week will help a senior reach the 20 minutes of recommended daily activity, which can lead to lowered blood pressure.
3. Risk: Fear of loss of independence leads to stress
As people reach retirement age and beyond, they go through an intense emotional cycle of change as they face new pressures--finances, changing family roles, loss of a loved one and struggles to age in-home. Stress leads to anxiety and depression in seniors.
Reduction:
· Create solutions for independence and socialization—family members can plan a social calendar to make sure their senior engages with friends and their community.
· Find volunteer opportunities—from schools to churches to libraries, seniors are a valuable volunteer resource for those community resources that face budget and funding issues during tough economic times.
· Get out of the house—self-isolation leads to depression; withdrawal form the world can lead to unhealthy lifestyle habits, like self-medication or alcohol dependency. Getting out is linked to overall wellbeing.
· Make a plan for in-home care in advance—family caregivers and the seniors they care for need to prepare a clear plan for the future to ensure the senior’s desire for independence. Respect the senior’s rights and feelings and get advice and support from an in-home care provider like Homewatch CareGivers to get an in-home assessment to help a senior age in-home and get the elder care they need.
About Homewatch CareGivers
Founded in 1980, Homewatch CareGivers is the largest, most experienced international provider of full-service in-home care for people of all ages, including seniors, children, veterans, the chronically ill, and those recovering from medical procedures. Caregivers are triple-screened and continually trained and supervised by healthcare professionals to provide reliable, compassionate and highly skilled services in companion, personal and comprehensive care. In-home care services are personalized for each client and customized care plans are administered through an international network with 172 territories which includes 19 international territories. Each office is locally owned and dedicated to ensuring quality of life for clients and peace of mind for their loved ones. Call 1-800-777-9770, visit www.homewatchcaregivers.com for franchise, company and caregiver information, or learn more from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwSRiMuM2DA
#####
Resources:
Among individuals 70 to 90 years of age, adherence to a Mediterranean-style diet and greater PA are associated with 65% to 73% lower rates of all-cause mortality, as wellas lower mortality rates due to CHD, CVD, and cancer.61 Knoops KT, de Groot LC, Kromhout D, Perrin AE, Moreiras-Varela O,Menotti A, van Staveren WA. Mediterranean diet, lifestyle factors, and10-year mortality in elderly European men and women: the HALE project.JAMA. 2004;292:1433–1439.
Founded in 1980, Homewatch CareGivers is the largest, most experienced international provider of full-service in-home care for people of all ages, including seniors, children, veterans, the chronically ill, and those recovering from medical procedures. Caregivers are triple-screened and continually trained and supervised by healthcare professionals to provide reliable, compassionate and highly skilled services in companion, personal and comprehensive care. In-home care services are personalized for each client and customized care plans are administered through an international network with 172 territories which includes 19 international territories. Each office is locally owned and dedicated to ensuring quality of life for clients and peace of mind for their loved ones. Call 1-800-777-9770, visit www.homewatchcaregivers.com for franchise, company and caregiver information, or learn more from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwSRiMuM2DA
#####
Resources:
Among individuals 70 to 90 years of age, adherence to a Mediterranean-style diet and greater PA are associated with 65% to 73% lower rates of all-cause mortality, as wellas lower mortality rates due to CHD, CVD, and cancer.61 Knoops KT, de Groot LC, Kromhout D, Perrin AE, Moreiras-Varela O,Menotti A, van Staveren WA. Mediterranean diet, lifestyle factors, and10-year mortality in elderly European men and women: the HALE project.JAMA. 2004;292:1433–1439.
Monday, February 16, 2009
UPDATES!
CAREGIVERS
This Saturday we had our first in office training for our cargivers. We went over Cancer, Cardiovasular Disease, and Oral care; what to look for, warning signs to report, and how to manage and prevent. Only seven Caregivers showed up, though many others couldn't make it and requested the material be sent to them, (with a quiz to make sure they do in fact read it.)
It went REALLY well, we all had a fun time. We ate healthy snacks, and drank coffe. The training was fun since everyone was interactive. Afterwards everyone stay for a while longer just to talk and get to know each other. Since all our caregivers work independently very few even know each other. This is another reason to our in-office training, and the luncheons we'll be starting when weather permits - we want them to get to know each other. To make friends and find support from others that work in the same feild.
Even with only 7 Cargivers showing up, it went excellent. We're hoping for a better turn out next month.
WHOLE FOODS
In March, Homewatch Caregivers is joining with Whole Foods Market in Torrance to give a presentation on healthy meals for seniors on a budget. Vanadana Sheth is a Registered Dietician from Torrance that will be joining us and giving the presentation. She will discuss nutrition for seniors, and show us how to make at least two meals, for two people, that cost under ten dollars. There will be healthy snacks available. PLEASE JOIN US! For more information or to RSVP call - 866-608-9500
Alzheimer's Memory Walk
Homewatch Caregivers of Garden Grove is putting together a team for the Alzheimer's memory walk in Fullerton, CA on 10/17/2009. If you can join us, PLEASE DO - you can go to our site and join our team. Or if you could donate something to the foundation for Alzheimer's be it even a dollar, please do. THANK YOU!
http://memorywalk.kintera.org/csuf/homewatchcaregivers
This Saturday we had our first in office training for our cargivers. We went over Cancer, Cardiovasular Disease, and Oral care; what to look for, warning signs to report, and how to manage and prevent. Only seven Caregivers showed up, though many others couldn't make it and requested the material be sent to them, (with a quiz to make sure they do in fact read it.)
It went REALLY well, we all had a fun time. We ate healthy snacks, and drank coffe. The training was fun since everyone was interactive. Afterwards everyone stay for a while longer just to talk and get to know each other. Since all our caregivers work independently very few even know each other. This is another reason to our in-office training, and the luncheons we'll be starting when weather permits - we want them to get to know each other. To make friends and find support from others that work in the same feild.
Even with only 7 Cargivers showing up, it went excellent. We're hoping for a better turn out next month.
WHOLE FOODS
In March, Homewatch Caregivers is joining with Whole Foods Market in Torrance to give a presentation on healthy meals for seniors on a budget. Vanadana Sheth is a Registered Dietician from Torrance that will be joining us and giving the presentation. She will discuss nutrition for seniors, and show us how to make at least two meals, for two people, that cost under ten dollars. There will be healthy snacks available. PLEASE JOIN US! For more information or to RSVP call - 866-608-9500
Alzheimer's Memory Walk
Homewatch Caregivers of Garden Grove is putting together a team for the Alzheimer's memory walk in Fullerton, CA on 10/17/2009. If you can join us, PLEASE DO - you can go to our site and join our team. Or if you could donate something to the foundation for Alzheimer's be it even a dollar, please do. THANK YOU!
http://memorywalk.kintera.org/csuf/homewatchcaregivers
Monday, January 19, 2009
Tough choices with aging parents
By David Solie
Making difficult decisions for parents who are losing control is never easy. At some point in the lives of our aging parents, things slip out of control. They begin having minor car accidents, they become depressed after the loss of a spouse, they forget to pay their bills, or have a serious medical setback like a stroke. The changes may be subtle over time or sudden. As much as we want them to remain independent, events take them off course, and tough decisions need to be made about the quality of their lives.
But how do we let them know that the time has come for them to relinquish at least some measure of control? While there are no easy answers, there are ways to improve the chances that our aging parents will eventually participate in and successfully survive these tough choices.
Work with their developmental agenda to ease decision-makingOur aging parents are navigating two powerful currents that influence every aspect of the final phase of their life: the need for control and the need to discover their life's legacy. This is the developmental agenda of the last stage of life. If you step in and try to take away whatever control they have left, you will only make the situation worse.
Two of the strategies described below—reframing and using familiar stories—will help aging parents realize that the unmanageable situation they are now struggling with is in fact undermining their control. The third strategy—supporting them in their life review—will help them to discover their legacy.
Take a gradual approach to reframing conversationsFirst, help parents recast the situation they’re in. Begin this reframing process by clearly acknowledging that control is critical to their well being and you fully support their need to have control. Your goal is to convince them that you understand their situation. You can say things like:
Mom and Dad, I know you both are proud of your independence and have always made your own decisions. I want to do everything possible to support your independence.
Dad, you know what's best for you. My job is to help you figure out your choices and then let you decide what you want to do.
Mom, no one wanted this to happen. But it did. The important thing is to determine how you want to handle it. This isn't something you have to do alone. All of us will help with whatever you choose.
Next, describe the behavior or circumstances that present a "clear and present danger" to their control. Your goal is to signal that you are concerned about a specific area of their life that is threatened by a loss of control:
Dad, mom is forgetting to take her medication and that has caused her diabetes to get out of control. According to the doctor, if she has a stroke or heart attack you both could lose your independence.
While I am glad the fall wasn't more serious, it looks like you are going to need to have surgery on your right hand. For six weeks after surgery you are not going to be able to use your right hand for even the basic things like eating, bathing, and general chores. Given that you live alone and are very protective of your privacy, this is going to challenge your ability to live independently.
I know it started out as fun, a chance to be with your friends and get out the house. But the trips to the local casino have cost you nearly half of your savings. At this rate, you won't have any savings in six months and will have to get by on social security, sending things further out of control.
Finally, explain how making a tough choice is actually a "control preservation strategy" to prevent the above scenarios from happening. Your goal is to signal there's a way to regain control and you are dedicated to helping them accomplish it:
You both have a chance to bring this situation under better control. Let's talk about the three options that will ensure that mom takes her diabetic medication, and you tell me which one sounds the best to you.
Let's talk about some ways that you can stay in your home as you recover from surgery. While you may need to be flexible about your privacy, it can offer you the chance to control where and how you recover from this operation.
The most important thing right now is to determine what you need to do to regain control of the situation. There are some tough choices, but if you allow me to work with you, we can develop a financial plan to preserve your remaining assets and manage your monthly bills.
Use familiar family stories to reinforce reframingSuccessfully reframing tough choices as opportunities to preserve control is only half the battle. Change is daunting at any age, but especially distressing for older adults who are experiencing losses on so many fronts. Even when it is clear that a tough choice is in their best interest, they may feel overwhelmed by what it will take to actually do it. They need realistic encouragement instead of false reassurance that "things will all work out" or that they shouldn’t worry.
But the encouragement needs to come from someone they trust and believe, someone with whom they have an immediate emotional connection. Finding a well-chosen family story, particularly of older adults, perhaps family members, who have faced similar setbacks but persevered and regained a new measure of control in their lives, can provide both comfort and inspiration.
For example, you could say: Do you two remember when Aunt Ethel found out she had heart failure and was told she might have to go into a nursing home? Remember how she was determined to get better and even her doctors could not believe how much improvement she made? She found a way to stay in control of her medical problem and lived in her own home all those years before she passed away. Dad, remember when granddad had hip surgery? Remember how mad he was when a nurse came in to help him? As hard as that was, granddad made a great recovery and said that his nurse "kept him out of the nursing home." I don’t think you know that Linda’s mom had the same gambling problem. She didn’t tell Linda until most of her money was gone. But together they figured out how to save what her mom had left and worked out a way for her mom to socialize that didn’t involve gambling. Linda was just glad she could help while there was still a chance to regain control of the situation for her mom.
By including these suggestions for conversations, I don’t mean to suggest that tough choices can be managed in such a brief exchange. Rather these suggestions lay out a reframing sequence and signaling strategy that is crafted to resonate with the developmental needs of the older adult.
Remembering that other older adults have faced a loss of control, made tough choices, and gone on to a better life is critical to preserving their hope that they can do the same.
Help them with their ongoing life reviewThe second item on aging parents’ agenda is creating a legacy in a world in which time is running short. Our aging parents are trying to sort out the meaning of their lives and how they will be remembered. To do this, they are actively engaged in constant life review, a reconsideration of the most important experiences of their lives. The very process of making tough choices can evoke strong emotions about the last phases of their lives and what it all means. Asking sensitive questions can help them review their lives and see their current choices in the context of all that came before.
You can say, for example:
Aunt Ethel overcame congestive heart failure to live many productive and happy years before she passed away. What is your favorite memory of Ethel? Was she always so sure of herself as I remember her?
Didn't you say that granddad was a ranch hand at one point in his life? Where was that and how did he get that job?
When I was growing up, you said Linda reminded you of your sister Beth. How is Linda like Aunt Beth?
Legacy is all about discovery, and discovery begins with the right questions. Life review questions like these provide an emotional forum to gather important memories from childhood and reconsider what they mean now.
The tough choices our aging parents face at the end of their lives do not get easier. But we can help them both preserve control and to discover their legacy. Protecting and preserving their sense of control reduces their anxiety, while helping them with their life review opens their hearts and ours to what matters the most.
he tough choices remind all of us that there is a large inventory of events in life we do not control. What we can control is how they are framed and communicated, and this gives all of us the best opportunity to capture their meaning and purpose.
David Solie is the medical director for Marsh Private Client Services in Woodland Hills, California. He is the author of How To Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders, published by Prentice Hall Press. For more than 20 years Solie has created and been the primary instructor for a variety of educational courses for the insurance and financial services industries. He is a graduate of the University of Colorado Medical School and a licensed physicians assistant with an advanced degree in clinical medicine. He can be contacted at dsolie@covad.net.
Making difficult decisions for parents who are losing control is never easy. At some point in the lives of our aging parents, things slip out of control. They begin having minor car accidents, they become depressed after the loss of a spouse, they forget to pay their bills, or have a serious medical setback like a stroke. The changes may be subtle over time or sudden. As much as we want them to remain independent, events take them off course, and tough decisions need to be made about the quality of their lives.
But how do we let them know that the time has come for them to relinquish at least some measure of control? While there are no easy answers, there are ways to improve the chances that our aging parents will eventually participate in and successfully survive these tough choices.
Work with their developmental agenda to ease decision-makingOur aging parents are navigating two powerful currents that influence every aspect of the final phase of their life: the need for control and the need to discover their life's legacy. This is the developmental agenda of the last stage of life. If you step in and try to take away whatever control they have left, you will only make the situation worse.
Two of the strategies described below—reframing and using familiar stories—will help aging parents realize that the unmanageable situation they are now struggling with is in fact undermining their control. The third strategy—supporting them in their life review—will help them to discover their legacy.
Take a gradual approach to reframing conversationsFirst, help parents recast the situation they’re in. Begin this reframing process by clearly acknowledging that control is critical to their well being and you fully support their need to have control. Your goal is to convince them that you understand their situation. You can say things like:
Mom and Dad, I know you both are proud of your independence and have always made your own decisions. I want to do everything possible to support your independence.
Dad, you know what's best for you. My job is to help you figure out your choices and then let you decide what you want to do.
Mom, no one wanted this to happen. But it did. The important thing is to determine how you want to handle it. This isn't something you have to do alone. All of us will help with whatever you choose.
Next, describe the behavior or circumstances that present a "clear and present danger" to their control. Your goal is to signal that you are concerned about a specific area of their life that is threatened by a loss of control:
Dad, mom is forgetting to take her medication and that has caused her diabetes to get out of control. According to the doctor, if she has a stroke or heart attack you both could lose your independence.
While I am glad the fall wasn't more serious, it looks like you are going to need to have surgery on your right hand. For six weeks after surgery you are not going to be able to use your right hand for even the basic things like eating, bathing, and general chores. Given that you live alone and are very protective of your privacy, this is going to challenge your ability to live independently.
I know it started out as fun, a chance to be with your friends and get out the house. But the trips to the local casino have cost you nearly half of your savings. At this rate, you won't have any savings in six months and will have to get by on social security, sending things further out of control.
Finally, explain how making a tough choice is actually a "control preservation strategy" to prevent the above scenarios from happening. Your goal is to signal there's a way to regain control and you are dedicated to helping them accomplish it:
You both have a chance to bring this situation under better control. Let's talk about the three options that will ensure that mom takes her diabetic medication, and you tell me which one sounds the best to you.
Let's talk about some ways that you can stay in your home as you recover from surgery. While you may need to be flexible about your privacy, it can offer you the chance to control where and how you recover from this operation.
The most important thing right now is to determine what you need to do to regain control of the situation. There are some tough choices, but if you allow me to work with you, we can develop a financial plan to preserve your remaining assets and manage your monthly bills.
Use familiar family stories to reinforce reframingSuccessfully reframing tough choices as opportunities to preserve control is only half the battle. Change is daunting at any age, but especially distressing for older adults who are experiencing losses on so many fronts. Even when it is clear that a tough choice is in their best interest, they may feel overwhelmed by what it will take to actually do it. They need realistic encouragement instead of false reassurance that "things will all work out" or that they shouldn’t worry.
But the encouragement needs to come from someone they trust and believe, someone with whom they have an immediate emotional connection. Finding a well-chosen family story, particularly of older adults, perhaps family members, who have faced similar setbacks but persevered and regained a new measure of control in their lives, can provide both comfort and inspiration.
For example, you could say: Do you two remember when Aunt Ethel found out she had heart failure and was told she might have to go into a nursing home? Remember how she was determined to get better and even her doctors could not believe how much improvement she made? She found a way to stay in control of her medical problem and lived in her own home all those years before she passed away. Dad, remember when granddad had hip surgery? Remember how mad he was when a nurse came in to help him? As hard as that was, granddad made a great recovery and said that his nurse "kept him out of the nursing home." I don’t think you know that Linda’s mom had the same gambling problem. She didn’t tell Linda until most of her money was gone. But together they figured out how to save what her mom had left and worked out a way for her mom to socialize that didn’t involve gambling. Linda was just glad she could help while there was still a chance to regain control of the situation for her mom.
By including these suggestions for conversations, I don’t mean to suggest that tough choices can be managed in such a brief exchange. Rather these suggestions lay out a reframing sequence and signaling strategy that is crafted to resonate with the developmental needs of the older adult.
Remembering that other older adults have faced a loss of control, made tough choices, and gone on to a better life is critical to preserving their hope that they can do the same.
Help them with their ongoing life reviewThe second item on aging parents’ agenda is creating a legacy in a world in which time is running short. Our aging parents are trying to sort out the meaning of their lives and how they will be remembered. To do this, they are actively engaged in constant life review, a reconsideration of the most important experiences of their lives. The very process of making tough choices can evoke strong emotions about the last phases of their lives and what it all means. Asking sensitive questions can help them review their lives and see their current choices in the context of all that came before.
You can say, for example:
Aunt Ethel overcame congestive heart failure to live many productive and happy years before she passed away. What is your favorite memory of Ethel? Was she always so sure of herself as I remember her?
Didn't you say that granddad was a ranch hand at one point in his life? Where was that and how did he get that job?
When I was growing up, you said Linda reminded you of your sister Beth. How is Linda like Aunt Beth?
Legacy is all about discovery, and discovery begins with the right questions. Life review questions like these provide an emotional forum to gather important memories from childhood and reconsider what they mean now.
The tough choices our aging parents face at the end of their lives do not get easier. But we can help them both preserve control and to discover their legacy. Protecting and preserving their sense of control reduces their anxiety, while helping them with their life review opens their hearts and ours to what matters the most.
he tough choices remind all of us that there is a large inventory of events in life we do not control. What we can control is how they are framed and communicated, and this gives all of us the best opportunity to capture their meaning and purpose.
David Solie is the medical director for Marsh Private Client Services in Woodland Hills, California. He is the author of How To Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders, published by Prentice Hall Press. For more than 20 years Solie has created and been the primary instructor for a variety of educational courses for the insurance and financial services industries. He is a graduate of the University of Colorado Medical School and a licensed physicians assistant with an advanced degree in clinical medicine. He can be contacted at dsolie@covad.net.
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